Sunday, June 14, 2009
Forget Pain
I don't understand what is inside my head
Why do I feel like my mind is dead
Never understanding why I feel the things I do
Wishing never to find out the truth
All of my thoughts scaring me
Flash after flash of things I refuse to remember
Forgetting the good stuff along the way
Shoving them all back with the bad
Help me please from drowning in the pain
Shouldn't this pain be easy to forget
Instead I am feeling all the dead weight
Resting on my head
I want to scream and then realize no one will hear me
Alone with no soul around to vent my thoughts
I want out
Out of my own thoughts
Saturday, June 13, 2009
No More Anger
Promised to be done with angry
That feeling only eats me from the inside out
Pain that was caused will fade away
Never carrying the baggage that was being hurt again
Yelling only made me lose my voice and damage my pride
The happiness clawing it's way from the bottom
Scratching at these walls that were carefully crafted
Built up around my smile
Tossing and turning every night
After going to bed angry carrying the hate inside
Busting down the hate with words of hope and faith
All of this pain that was caused
Will so fade away leaving me with sunshine
Sunshine from the smiles I give myself
Breathing the anger out while replacing it with love
Forever the Best
Wondering if there was anything I did wrong
Please keep me from going out of my mind
Trying to find out what I could have done
Just to fix the problem and correct our relationship
Going back in forth inside my head
Pacing this floor instead of crying in my bed
One step towards realizing maybe I'm better of instead
Better off being happy instead of pretending and being used
There were many things that I know were wrong
Things that happened and the red light came on
Pretending that the red light was green
Something I did every day
Focusing on myself for a change
I have learned will get me far
I am now going to stop wondering
Realize we are over and it is forever for the best
Monday, June 8, 2009
This Hole
Remember when I said I would rather crawl in a hole and die
I meant it every word I said
Crashing myself onto the floor
I cry with my head in my hands
My body planted firmly on the ground
Feeling all of my tears spill out into my hands
Never once deciding to hold it in
Making it worse falling off the deep end
Remember when I said I would rather crawl in a hole and die
I meant every word I said
Tell Me
Tell me that I don't hate you
Make sure it isn't all just in my head
Let me know if there is still some love left
The biggest part of me wants to love you, but the rest just says give up
Tell me I still need you around
Help me understand I am nothing without you
Dry my eyes with your words
Please keep my thoughts straight
Tell me that I don't hate you
Make sure it isn't all just in my head
Tell me I don't hate you
because I'm not sure I can anymore
Feather
Imagining what it would sound like
Would there be any sound at all
Silence among the shades of white around me
Anyone there trying to guide me back
Taking me with them to be in peace
Imagining what it would feel like
Senses of calm and feelings of warmth
My body feeling almost feather like
Taking in the peace and serenity that will follow
Breathing becomes shallow and memories start to fade
Letting myself fall into a deep and peaceful sleep
Never fearing what will come just knowing all is well now
Would there be any sound at all
Silence among the shades of white around me
Anyone there trying to guide me back
Taking me with them to be in peace
Imagining what it would feel like
Senses of calm and feelings of warmth
My body feeling almost feather like
Taking in the peace and serenity that will follow
Breathing becomes shallow and memories start to fade
Letting myself fall into a deep and peaceful sleep
Never fearing what will come just knowing all is well now
Trouble
I hate to admit there are any problems
There are times when I feel they won't be solved
Everything isn't going to get better in my eyes
I only see darkness at the end of tunnel ,never the light
Thoughts of what else could go wrong surface in my mind
Boiling over every time I cry
When will this dilemma ever let go of me
Let me live carefree and open my eyes
I hate to admit there is anything wrong
Lying seems like the more logical thought
Someone pull me up from under
before I drown beneath the trouble
Will there ever be what I called normal again
In the end will everything I struggled for matter
Help me please before I surrender
Surrender to the trouble and buckle beneath the fear
I hate to admit there are any problems
I only see darkness at the end of the tunnel, never the light
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