Sunday, June 14, 2009

Forget Pain

I don't understand what is inside my head
Why do I feel like my mind is dead

Never understanding why I feel the things I do
Wishing never to find out the truth

All of my thoughts scaring me
Flash after flash of things I refuse to remember

Forgetting the good stuff along the way
Shoving them all back with the bad

Help me please from drowning in the pain
Shouldn't this pain be easy to forget

Instead I am feeling all the dead weight
Resting on my head

I want to scream and then realize no one will hear me
Alone with no soul around to vent my thoughts

I want out
Out of my own thoughts

Saturday, June 13, 2009

No More Anger

Promised to be done with angry
That feeling only eats me from the inside out

Pain that was caused will fade away
Never carrying the baggage that was being hurt again

Yelling only made me lose my voice and damage my pride
The happiness clawing it's way from the bottom

Scratching at these walls that were carefully crafted
Built up around my smile

Tossing and turning every night
After going to bed angry carrying the hate inside

Busting down the hate with words of hope and faith
All of this pain that was caused

Will so fade away leaving me with sunshine
Sunshine from the smiles I give myself

Breathing the anger out while replacing it with love

Forever the Best

Wondering if there was anything I did wrong
Please keep me from going out of my mind

Trying to find out what I could have done
Just to fix the problem and correct our relationship

Going back in forth inside my head
Pacing this floor instead of crying in my bed

One step towards realizing maybe I'm better of instead
Better off being happy instead of pretending and being used

There were many things that I know were wrong
Things that happened and the red light came on

Pretending that the red light was green
Something I did every day

Focusing on myself for a change
I have learned will get me far

I am now going to stop wondering
Realize we are over and it is forever for the best

Monday, June 8, 2009

This Hole

Remember when I said I would rather crawl in a hole and die


I meant it every word I said


Crashing myself onto the floor


I cry with my head in my hands


My body planted firmly on the ground


Feeling all of my tears spill out into my hands


Never once deciding to hold it in


Making it worse falling off the deep end


Remember when I said I would rather crawl in a hole and die


I meant every word I said

Tell Me

Tell me that I don't hate you


Make sure it isn't all just in my head


Let me know if there is still some love left


The biggest part of me wants to love you, but the rest just says give up


Tell me I still need you around


Help me understand I am nothing without you


Dry my eyes with your words


Please keep my thoughts straight


Tell me that I don't hate you


Make sure it isn't all just in my head


Tell me I don't hate you


because I'm not sure I can anymore

Feather

Imagining what it would sound like

Would there be any sound at all

Silence among the shades of white around me

Anyone there trying to guide me back

Taking me with them to be in peace

Imagining what it would feel like

Senses of calm and feelings of warmth

My body feeling almost feather like

Taking in the peace and serenity that will follow

Breathing becomes shallow and memories start to fade

Letting myself fall into a deep and peaceful sleep

Never fearing what will come just knowing all is well now

Trouble

I hate to admit there are any problems
There are times when I feel they won't be solved

Everything isn't going to get better in my eyes
I only see darkness at the end of tunnel ,never the light

Thoughts of what else could go wrong surface in my mind
Boiling over every time I cry

When will this dilemma ever let go of me
Let me live carefree and open my eyes

I hate to admit there is anything wrong
Lying seems like the more logical thought

Someone pull me up from under
before I drown beneath the trouble

Will there ever be what I called normal again
In the end will everything I struggled for matter

Help me please before I surrender
Surrender to the trouble and buckle beneath the fear

I hate to admit there are any problems
I only see darkness at the end of the tunnel, never the light